If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
