i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
