i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
honey bunches of taint.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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