just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
