don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
