um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dick very happy bro
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
