i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
