and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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