Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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