you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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