I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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