Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
