Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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