normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
