You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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