I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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