as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
