one might say we're banned from that church
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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