I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
