don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
