but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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