I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW