butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
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Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
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I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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