When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
