quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
