put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
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I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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