I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
