Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
