a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
