It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
