I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
