I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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