I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
