is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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