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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  well that was a long night...

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?

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• (361): View more from Texas

  She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Well I'm in a stranger's bed.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gotta leave to watch the Lions

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin

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