I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.