There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
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The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution