3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.