I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.