I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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