How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
