first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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