Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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