U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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