we have pet lesbian snakes
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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