that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
