i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
