just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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