My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
