god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
