we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
