only if we run a train.
done.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
