Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Houston, we have a squirter
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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