her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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