My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
