but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
