My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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