Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
